Don't Take Away the Opportunity to Move

Photo credit: agewithoutlimits.com

Ms. C lives three blocks from the senior center. Most days, she chooses to walk. Often she’ll carry snacks to share with friends, a book for her volunteer shift at the front desk, or other odds and ends.

She told me the other day, “When people see me walking with bags, they pull over and ask if I need a ride. Or they want to carry my bags for me. I don’t know why they feel the need to help me. Maybe it’s because I have gray hair and they don’t think I’m capable?”

I think she’s right.

Over and over, I’ve seen well-intentioned people rush to “help” older adults without asking if the help is wanted. It shows up in comments like:

“Let me get that for you.”

“You don’t need to be carrying that.”

Carrying, lifting, walking, setting things up, these are the very activities that keep us strong and capable as we age.

The better approach is to first, and keep it light:

“Would you like a hand with that?”

“I’ve got an extra hand if you need it.”

One of our volunteers is a perfect example. She jumps at any chance to move, whether it’s carrying supplies, setting up tables, or walking across the building. She gets frustrated when someone steps in and takes the task away from her. So I always ask, casually. Most of the time she says, “No thanks,” and I step back.

We shouldn’t rob people of the chance to move their bodies, contribute, and feel capable.